9 superhero movie parody
by Krystal Skellington
Summary: I keep watching superhero movie and i love it, so i combined it with 9. 9 as rick, 7 as jill, and more to come. R&R please! Rated T for tiny sex refs and some curse words down the road.
1. Chapter 1

Superhero Movie (The 9 fanfic version)

I do not own superhero movie or 9. So, yeah. Don't sue. Thanks.

9's POV

Do you really want to know who I am? Okay, but my story's not for the faint of heart.

"Stop!" I screamed. "Let me in!" The army helmet lifted up to let me in, but hit me over the head by mistake. After falling to the ground about three times, I finally got in.

But, like every story worth telling, mine's about a girl. An ugly looking stitchpunk girl turned around. She had a uni-stitch brow. Not that girl. Another one looked at me. She looked more like a guy dressed as a girl. I'm not even sure that is a girl. No, I'm talking about this girl. 7. A pretty looking stitchpunk was walking with her boyfriend problem is, she doesn't know I exist.

"9! Hey, 9! I got your seat right here!" I heard my friend 5 call to me.

"Hey 9, what's up?"

"Hi 5." I replied.

I stared at 7 while 5 tried to talk to me. He snapped me back to reality.

"Dude, you need to forget about 7. She's not even looking at you."

"I know, I've just been crushing on her for so long."

"She's in the popular group. And everyone knows no popular will ever leave their group."

"Come on, that group stuff isn't real." I said.

"Yes it is!" 5 defended. "Look, you got your jocks, your nerds, your emos, your band geeks, the scar face society, the sex offenders, and also your 9 punchers."

"9 punchers?" I queried. A huge punch to my face followed.

"Yeah, they're new." 5 explained. "Don't worry. The two of us are a group of our own. Just us two." Then 5 punched me in the face. "Am I in guys?" he asked the 9 punchers.

"No!" one of them hollered. 5 looked disappointed.

"Just you and me, 9. Wanna see something raunchy I found on the internet? Here, just don't tell anyone, okay?"


	2. Chapter 2

Soon we were at the shelter. There was a sleeping catbeast in the corner. An old stitchpunk named 1 was teaching us how to fight machines. He purposely threw a rock at the machine to get its attention. It woke up and groweled at him and he started to fight it.

"Dodge bullets." 1 said, moving away from the projectiles. "Stay away from bombs." The monster threw a prosthetic leg at 1. "I really don't have much in the way of advice for that." He said. He continued to fight the robot until it was killed. Soon after, 1 handed us each a bottle of liquid.

"This is a new chemical we developed called h206. It will make your bodies bulletproof and provide protection from gases and chemicals. But be careful- we are missing a container of h209, a strong mating chemical that causes our animals to have a strong attraction to anything containing even one drop."

Too late for me. I already put the whole jar on, turning it around, it said h20.…9. Oh creator. The catbeasts and winged beasts came over to me and started… well, you know. Every animal the shelter had was all over me in just a few seconds.

"Aren't you going to help him?" 7 asked 5.

" Right after I get this on the internet." he answered, holding his camera phone up to me. When all the animals were through, a miniature winged beast, which was apparently genetically enhanced to be stronger as I found out later, bit me on the neck. I suddenly felt- something. I don't know.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3 (Narrator POV)

Pi and 2 sat on the couch. Pi was on the phone with 1 from the shelter.

"9 ran off from a lesson? That's just not like him." She said. "Okay. Thank you. Good bye."

"I just can't believe it. Even after all the good parenting we've both done!" Pi said, in a concerned tone.

I'm sure that's just 9's way of asking for attention. We're fine parents." 2 said. "Too bad we're getting old."

"Your optics are dusty." she said.

"Your fabric is wrinkling." he replied.

"It takes you an hour to change your oil."

"Your thighs look like bowls of burlap jelly."

"And you've always had a tiny reproductive opening."

"But what does it matter, when you are in love?" 2 said romantically.

The two proceded to kiss deeply. That's when 9 came in.

He came crashing through everything, falling over himself and tumbling around like he was dying. He ran up to his bedroom, throwing up.

"Teenagers." 2 said, rolling his optics jokingly. "I'll go talk to him.

"Hi 9." 2 said. "Listen, 9, I know being a teen stitchpunk must be hard for you. Puberty is a difficult time. This book will tell you what to expect though." He opened the book.

" Let's see…" 2 said. "Yes… you can expect mood swings, oil discharge, and once a month a tiny piece of your soul will come out of your reproductive opening. Oops, wrong book."

9 suddenly collapsed on his bed. He closed his optics and fell unconscious.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4- 9 POV

I opened my optics. Creator- what happened? I rolled over on my side. Uncle 2 was sleeping next to me.

"How long was I out?" I asked him.

"About 5 days." He answered drowsily. He then got up and farted. I waited until my uncle left the room to go on my computer. I went on google and searched winged beast bite. It took me to a site about stitchpunk illness. Something popped up, asking me what I needed help with. It was a multiple choice thing. The choices were headache, cold, I want to find out what's wrong with the chansellor, or beast bite. It asked if I was in pain. I clicked no. It asked if I ever connected souls with another stitchpunk. I looked around to see if anyone was around yes. It became a whole conversation between me and the site:

"There's no need to lie."

"I really did connect souls."

"You can tell me. I'm a mechanic."

"Okay."

"You're kidding me. Loser!"

The site closed out. An IM window opened. It was from someone named PROF6. It said not to look for him, and that he would find me. Then it said PROF6 added me as a friend. I closed out the IM window and went online to look for an affordable vehicle. It asked how much I had to spend. I typed in $300. All that came up was the toyota crapcase. It looked like an old roller skate, but it was rusty and old and hacked together. I clicked on the video, to see it drive. Instead, a small gray and white stitch punk came up in the video window.

"Hello 9." he said. "My name is Professor 6. Your powers are growing. But you can't control them. As I said before, I'll find you- don't look for me. Learn to use your abilities." There was static in between.

"Learn to fly."

Static.

"Because you don't need-"

Static.

"Soul connection-"

Static.

"Squatting on a glass table-"

Static.

"Two girls-"

Static.

"One cup-"

Static.

"You know what to do."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5- Narrator POV

1 was in a meeting room with some associates. He was hiding something under a blanket, it looked bulky and it was probably an invention of some sort.

"Men," he started, "My mechanical heart is going to stop in one hour."

This statement caused a wave of conversation among the associates.

"Quiet!" 1 yelled. "This device-" He pulled off the blanket. "Is going to save my life." He hooked himself up to the machine. It began to shock energy waves into his head, as the metal restraints held him down. When the machine finished, he got off of it and smiled proudly.

"The effects are only temporary, but we can work out some of the bugs." 1's partner 8 informed him. Over time, 1's molded 8 from a complete moron to a relatively smart stitch punk.

"Until then, I'll find a way for you to stay alive. I'll have it ready by tomorrow."

1 walked away, satisfied.

A/N- sorry it's so short. It's kinda hard to blend these two movies together. So far, these are the characters: 9 as Rick

7 as Jill

18 as Lance

Pi as Lucille

2 as Albert

1 as Lou Landers/Hourglass

The Scientist as Stephen Hawking (there weren't any fitting stitch punks)

Pi2 as the girl with the incredible ass-astronomy career ahead of her (remember that part? XD)

5 as Trey

6 as Professor Xavier

8 as Strom

Thanks for reading, I'll update soon!


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6- Narrator POV

A female stitchpunk came up to the podium.

"Today I'm proud to bring to our school science fair an esteemed scientist. He is currently working with soul transfer at the laboratory- the Creator!

A paralyzed scientist in a wheelchair came up.

"Thank you for the warm welcome." a computerized voice said. "After creating the original stitchpunks, I've developed a paralyzing disease. I cannot move at all and use this computer to talk. But I'm not sad about it at all because I have the gift of knowledge."

The crowd smiled at this statement.

"That is a lie." the computer said, causing the audience to frown. "I am depressed all the time and often think about another soul transfer or even suicide. But you all should be happy for what you've still got. You all can walk and talk, and you can move whenever you want to. And then there's reproduction." Everyone stared at him, bewildered.

"I haven't bonded souls in years. I can still get magntet high though. Anyone interested? Anyone?" Wusses!" the computer said as the crowd walked away, completely baffled.

A girl stitchpunk named Pi2 walked up to the scientist.

"Hello, Creator!" she said."I'm such a big fan. I'd love to show you my project on the stars."

She turned around and the scientist stared at her backend.

"You have a great ass." he said. Pi2 turned around, shocked.

"-Stronomy career ahead of you." he said quickly. He wheeled away, leaving her baffled.


End file.
